Friday, November 1, 2013

Dear Laundry Fairy

Dear Laundry Fairy,

Why don't you ever visit me anymore?  When I was a little girl, you used to visit me every day.  I'd throw my dirty clothes on the floor every night before bed and they always magically disappeared while I slept.  I'd come home from school the next day to find that they had magically reappeared in my closet smelling fresh and perfectly pressed.  It was amazing!

I'm not sure why, but when I grew up and moved out of my parent's house, you stopped coming every night.  I distinctly remember throwing my clothes on the floor the first night I slept in my grown up house and waking up the next morning to find them still there.  It was awful!  I waited all week for you to come, but you never showed up.  I eventually ran out of clean clothes, and I had to wash them myself.

Its thirteen years later and I find myself doing laundry every day.  The only time you come now is when my mother in law is here.   I can only assume that you still like her and that somewhere along the line I upset you.  I would love to know what I did to make you mad.  Honestly, I'd love to know how to get you to come back.  I am so sorry I took you for granted when I was a child.

Are you mad because I didn't look forward to your visits as much as I did the tooth fairy's?  Is it because I didn't leave you cookies every night like I did Santa Claus?  Perhaps you're mad because I thought the Easter Bunny was cooler than you?  Did you hurt your back picking my clothes up off the floor one night and get mad because I didn't have the decency to put them in the laundry basket?

Whatever it was, I'm sorry.  I may not have appreciated you when I was a child, but boy do I appreciate you now.  You are the coolest of the magical beings that visit children and leave them cool stuff while they sleep.  Trust me, if I could only have one magical being visit me as a grown up, it would be you without hesitation.

I didn't realize how amazing you were until I had to start doing laundry all by myself.  I never realized how many socks a family of five wears each week or how awful it is trying to get mystery stains out of pants.  I had no idea how bad pants could smell after a small child wore them all week, spilled crap all over them, and then hid them under their bed.  When you did my laundry, you always checked all the pockets.  I never remember finding clothes in my closet that had crayons melted into them when you came every night.

I'm sure you're out there tonight about to visit some small child who doesn't appreciate you.  If you find yourself fed up with picking her nasty clothes off of the floor, feel free to head over to my house.  I have 300 loads of laundry with your name on them.  If you could convince your friend the ironing fairy to come too, that would be totally awesome.  Warn her that she might want to bring her own iron, my rotten children broke mine.  I haven't gotten around to buying another one because that would mean I wouldn't have an excuse not to iron things.

Your Biggest Fan

PS...Also it would be totally cool if maybe you could convince the gas fairy to come and put gas in my car like he used to when I was 16 and I'd leave my car parked in the driveway completely on empty.  I know you guys know each other because he stopped visiting the same time you stopped coming.


  1. I think the laundry fairy gave up on me as soon as I hit 10 years old. Then I became the laundry slave!! :)