How to Tell if You're on a Date with Your Boyfriend or Your Husband

A boyfriend will greet you at the door, and say, "Is that a new dress?  It looks nice!"

A husband will take one look at you and ask, "Is that a new dress?  I hope it wasn't expensive!"

If a boyfriend notices your car needs its oil changed on the way to dinner, he will offer to change it for you over the weekend.  Probably he'll make some cheeky remark about coming up with a "creative" way to settle the bill afterwards.

If a husband notices your car needs its oil changed on your way to dinner, he will suggest going to Wal-Mart to get it done after dinner since you two hadn't really figured out what you were going to do after you ate.  Walking around Wal-Mart sounds like a good plan to him, plus he's got a coupon.

When you get in the car with a boyfriend, he'll ask, "What are you in the mood to eat for dinner?"  

A husband will ask, "What restaurant do you have a coupon for?"

After dinner, a boyfriend might suggest going to a movie or going dancing to finish the night off.

A husband is going to drive you to the grocery store, the auto parts store, or the wholesale warehouse store after dinner because, sadly, that's where you will ask him to take you.  At this point in your life grocery shopping without your children is a real treat.

A date with a boyfriend usually ends the next morning at breakfast.

A date with your husband usually ends when you run out of money to pay the babysitter.  How much time you can afford to keep the babysitter on any given night will favor heavily into your plans.  

When you go on a date with your boyfriend, you make sure to wear your nicest lingerie.  You'll will want to be a show stopper at the end of the evening

When you go on a date with your husband, you'll make sure you wear something clean.  No sense wearing something that might give him any ideas. You've got two weeks worth of Grey's Anatomy episodes you plan on catching up on when you get home.  Plus if by chance something at BJ's Wholesale Mega Food Surplus was to put you in the mood, chances are he'll be so excited, he won't even care that your underwear doesn't match and that you haven't shaved your legs in months.

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