Office Politics

Told my bosses that since they wouldn't let me take a sick day, the least they could do was let me take a bath all by myself. The more senior bosses agreed, but the newest member of management insisted on joining me. During our bath, I was beaten with a rubber ducky, molested with inquisitive fingers (hey mommy what's that? Ahhh...we don't touch people there!), and assaulted with an ice cold wash cloth that I'm pretty sure spent some time in Antarctica. To top it all, 5 minutes into my night time "break" the oldest members of management proved that we haven't devoted enough company resources to team building exercises lately when they were unable to coexist in the same room without resorting to violence. All I have to say is when the head of HR gets home, he better take my complaints seriously and give me the night off and allow me to come in late tomorrow (his butt better be driving Colin to school). Otherwise I might have to put a temporary stop to this torrid office affair we've been having for the past ten years!