Friday, August 16, 2013

I Am Your Lifeguard

Sweet Tyler,

I am writing you this letter as your first week of kindergarten comes to an end.  It's been a hard week full of tears, broken hearts, and adjustment.  It broke my heart when I left you at school the first day crying and pleading for me to stay.  I know you don't understand why I had to leave.  It will be a long time before you understand that mommy left you because she loves you more than anything in the world, and she wants you to spread your wings and fly and be the best Tyler you can be.  I'm sure standing in your new classroom for the first time, all by yourself, felt like Mommy had dropped you into the deepest part of the ocean without a way out.  I know you desperately wanted me to be your life preserver and cradle you in my arms and see you through the uncharted water ahead.  You have no idea how badly I wanted to do that too. Unfortunately, I can't.  I can't because I love you to much to hold you back from being amazing.  As much as I want to be your life preserver, to carry you effortlessly through the calm waters and always keep your head above water when the sea gets rough, I have to resign myself to being your lifeguard.  My job now is to stand on the shore and guide you, to cheer for you, and to teach you how to succeed on your own.   Know that even though I'm not always right there holding your hand, I am always on the shore watching your every move, and I will always be there to jump in and rescue you when you truly need saving.  Mommy loves you more than you'll ever know.  I can't wait to see the man you grow up to be.



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