I Have A Dream

I have a dream that one day I will drop middle son off at kindergarten, and he will kiss me goodbye and walk off happily to join his classmates.

Today he screamed when I left.  I could still hear him as I exited the building.

I have a dream that one day all of the children in this house will be able to poop without alerting me first.

Yesterday a child screamed for me from across the house.  I went running in his direction because a scream like that usually means someone is bleeding.  Nope, he just wanted to tell me he was gonna go poop, and he couldn't find me.

I have a dream that one day I will be able to use the bathroom without having to clear it with every child in my house.  I also hope to one day be able to remain seated for the entire performance without having to intervene in a dispute or having a spectator sit in my lap.

I almost wet my pants twice today thanks to a clingy child who refused to get out of my lap when I told her I needed to go potty.  "No pee pee for you mommy.  No pee pee for you!" she informed me.

I have a dream that one day I will actually make it out of my house on time with all three children dressed and everything I'm supposed to have.

My bestie told me the other day that she strives to be like me because, "Rachel you're only kind of late to everything.  We on the other hand are always running way behind."

I have a dream that one day I will be able to take a shower from beginning to end without a single interruption.  I dream of washing my hair, all my various body parts, and shaving everything that needs to be hairless without having a naked child appear out of nowhere and invite herself to join me or without having to referee at least one shouting match.

I was so close last Sunday.  All of the kids were entertained, and my husband was home to watch them.  I was just about to shave my legs when I heard the voices outside of the bathroom.  "I have bath with you?" came a little voice.  I would've said no, but she wasn't asking me.  She was asking my husband who thought it would be a great idea for them both to join me in our shower that's about as big as a shoe box.  My darling daughter also snuck in her giant Ariel doll.  I spent the rest of my shower face planted up against the wall while my husband complained about not having enough room.

I dream of one day getting in the Van, that I just spend the afternoon cleaning, to find that is is still spotless.

This will never happen.

The problem is that I know one of these days all of my dreams will come true, and then I will be sad.  I will be sitting on the potty, probably unable to go without my audience, and it will dawn on me that my precious babies have all grown up.  My heart will be broken, and I'll wish that I hadn't ever wanted them to grow up in the first place.